procrastination station

why didnt i just take care of it why dont i ever just take the little steps that i know need to be taken on time why am i so afraid of action of following through of tying up loose ends of getting it right am i that concerned that things will be too difficult why am i so terrified of difficulty this is my problem this is the root of it all this is why i suddenly find myself with two hundred and eighty eight dollars worth of library fines for a tiny book on lenin that i never even read its all george orwells fault he wrote animal farm he forced me into my brief and blinding wave of intense need to find out all about the russians why did it dissipate so fast why couldnt i just admit to myself that i didnt want to slog through lenin book why cant i let myself like what i like and stop forcing it i always end up paying now im paying real money so much money and they are holding my transcripts hostage those bastards they are using my need for their gain i never liked the people who work at the library anyway why are they always so glum why arent they ever reading books when i see them why is that guy at the front desk of morrison such a jerk doesnt he realize where he gets to sit all day i bet not a single soul in the world has missed that stupid lenin book who wants it the computer wants it no one is aware of its absence except the nagging hounding computer it sends me mail it demands my money it holds my grades back it holds me back why cant i just sit the computer down and explain the situation i feel i am being reasonable i dont think the book was ever really worth that much and i doubt that i have caused nearly three hundred dollars worth of wear and tear on the computer system ill pay for the book ill pay for the paper ill pay for the emotional damage done to all the students who had to see the word missing next to book title as they frantically pored through the library catalog during the last year ill pay ill pay why didnt i just take care of it why did i look at it sitting there on my shelf so many times and not extend my hand why was i so afraid of it why didnt i listen to everyone else WHY DONT I THINK ABOUT THE FUTURE