Thank. You.

I appreciate Lisa and Ashley right now, because in their own crazy and different ways, they're not afraid to come out and say it, whatever it may be!

For now, though, I have nothing to say, so I'll let Augie speak for me. A tribute to my top fives, a romp in punctuation and proudly owned contradictions, here's my number one introduction of all time:

"I am an American, Chicago born - Chicago, that somber city - and go at things as I have taught myself, freestyle, and will make the record in my own way: first to knock, first admitted; sometimes an innocent knock, sometimes a not so innocent. But a man's character is his fate, says Heraclitus, and in the end there isn't any way to disguise the nature of the knocks by acoustical work on the door or gloving the knuckles."

Got 300 spare hours and a life that needs changing? Read it.