Recently, in lieu of working...

Benny: thats actually part of the class notes
me: read act one of twelfth night, one paragraph on shakespeare's original playhouse, fall in love with girl next to you
Benny: aviod exhibition of pretty piece of flesh, etc.
me: LOL


Mike: jim-pam is awesome
i'd settle for a dwight-angela at this point
me: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Mike: dont force it, dont force it


Regarding my status (Joanna Copley doesn't REALLY believe that a foam peanut and an anvil will fall at the same rate in a vacuum):
Lisa: i'm with you on that one
bull frickin shit


me: encyclopedia brown is an indie rock god
check out those pants!
and the ironically small sweater
Lisa: encyclopedia brown could kick nancy drew + the hardy boys' ASSES
where are his glasses at
didn't he have glasses


Lisa: o_O
me: WHY DO I GET THE SQUINTY EYE
Lisa: i take back the eye


Lucas: did you ever read encyclopedia brown?
me: DID I EVER READ ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN
Lucas: the one where he solves the problem of who cheated at the word fair because the bookkeeper lady pretended she didn't know any words that had three double letters
AND BOOKKEEPER HAS THREE DOUBLE LETTERS


A ridiculous exercise in group copy-and-paste:
me: me: REALLY
you REALLY like peas??
Juliette: i LOVE peas
i'm cooking some up right now
they're a tie for my favorite vegetable with spinich and green beans
me: ?!
wtf
CORN!
CORN, HUGHEY
WHERE IS CORN AT
Juliette: um...i mean it's there
it's okay
not my favorite
i like the green ones better
me: ?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!
Juliette: hahahahahaha
so jo, what's your favorite vegetable
me: hmmmmmm
Juliette: it better be corn or you're going to be harped on by lisa
watch out!
me: does the humble onion count?
Juliette: nope
me: ok then hmmmmmmmm again
Juliette: okay fine
me: i suppose the answer is...
green beans.
Juliette: if you like the onion...then you can have the onion.
me: my favorite veggie is greenbeans
Juliette: oooooooooooooh GREEN BEANS


Lisa: lol
OMG
hahahah
i'm doing the ian laugh
which means it's hella funny
me: did you know michael phelps eats 12,000 CALORIES A DAY
Juliette: yes i did
me: hahahahaaha
"did you know michael phelps's ssn is 274-827-8836?"
"yes i did"
Lisa: lol
"did you know michael phelps likes to take long showers and moisturize 3 times afterwards?"
"yes i did"
cuh reee pyy
me: hahahahahaha


Juliette: NEVER TURN AWAY
it's like death
Lisa: it's like DEATH?!
wtf
Joe: hahahh
Juliette: okay. not true
Lisa: HOW IS IT LIKE DEATH
Joe: haahah
so outraged
me: in the same way that alan parish "dies" in jumanji
Lisa: JULIETTE HASN'T SEEN SANDLOT
just gonna throw that out there...


me: IT'S HIM!
and i'm a freaking master actress
oh god he sounds real hot
Ashley: oh GOd!
me: hahaha
Ashley: what did you say?
me: he said "chronicle this is damien"
Ashley: hot!
me: and i was like oh i think i have the wrong number
and he said (get this!): "wait, are you sure? i just called some numbers and was hoping for a call back"
Ashley: that's soo cute!
all reporterly
me: so then i was like, "umm i'm looking for peter ashbury, is this 415-778-7228"
Ashley: niice
me: and he said "ah no it's 777-7228"
totally well played and totally going to steal him from you
Ashley: you are my hero
me: yeah pretty much